


Operator [That's not the way it feels]

by ilovekaradanvers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kara is 20, One Shot, lena is 18, takes place right after lex's trial closes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-09 01:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10400472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovekaradanvers/pseuds/ilovekaradanvers
Summary: The house was empty. Each room held a memory of Lex that she desperately wanted to get rid of. When Lena got to her room, she immediately went to the old rotary telephone Lex had bought her. Her only concern was calling someone who could help. But there wasn't anyone who could.With more force than necessary, Lena dialed ten and waited for the buzz to end.“Operator 26, how may I help you?”“Operator, can you help me place this call?”orLena is in need of some help after Lex's trial, but she doesn't know who to call and doesn't know what to say. When ready-to-help Kara Danvers is the operator that picks up her calls, will someone finally be there for Lena?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is inspired by the song Operator [That's Not the Way it Feels] by Jim Croce and I STRONGLY SUGGEST listening to the song either before or while you read it! The tone of the song adds so much it's also just an amazing song with so much meaning behind it... so yeah! enjoy :)

The trial closed with an easy smack of the gavel, and that was it for the Luthor family.

 

Lex Luthor was to serve to two consecutive life sentences in the highest possible security prison.

 

It wasn't like it was a surprise, not really. It wasn't shocking that they sentenced Lex. It wasn't shocking that the jury was convinced by Superman’s testimony. Enough time had passed for Lena to realize that her brother was never coming back; the boy she knew was gone forever.

 

It was with a heavy heart that Lena allowed herself to be lead from the courtroom to a private room. Lillian would not allow the press the gratitude of seeing them right after the verdict, so she ordered a room to be ready. Lena caught a glimpse of Lex right as he was led back to the holding center. He gave her a wink and held his head up high, a true Luthor.

 

Lena, however, was not so noble.

 

His wink sent her to the floor as the whole situation caught up with her. Her _brother_ was in _prison. Forever._

 

The only sound she heard was Lillian's hisses of protest as Lena refused to get up. A set of harsh hands grabbed her under her arms and brought her to the room to wait for the press to dwindle.

 

“Lena, you mustn't behave like that. A Luthor never shows weakness, you know this.”

 

_But she wasn't a Luthor._

 

“Yes, Mother.”

 

Being eighteen in the Luthor household was difficult. She tried to stay away from it for as long as possible in order to avoid Lillian. All Lena wanted was a _break._ A break from the poise, from the elegance, from the act that her “mother” put on everyday.

 

She put on a mask in front of Lillian; she acted like her brother was fine. From the outside, Lena was calm as she read the book in front of her. Inside was a different story.

 

Her heart raced for the whole hour, her mind didn't comprehend a single word on the page, her leg itched with the need to bounce.

 

Lillian finally decided she wanted to go home. Lena was led to the limo out front while being bombarded by the remaining reporters on sight. The car ride was _painfully_ long, even though it lasted about ten minutes, and Lena couldn't wait to get out of the car. She burst out the door as soon at the car was slow enough and watched as the limo pulled away with Lillian still in it.

 

_Finally a moment alone._

 

The house was empty. Each room held a memory of Lex that she desperately wanted to get rid of. The chessboard that they used when she beat him the first time. The couch cushions they would build forts with on days when both Lionel and Lillian were on the other side of the country. The stairwell that Lex turned into a slide.

 

When she got to her room, she immediately went to the old rotary telephone Lex had bought her. Her only concern was calling someone who could help. But there wasn't anyone who could.

 

With more force than necessary, Lena dialed ten and waited for the buzz to end.

 

“ _Operator 26, how may I help you?”_

 

“Operator, can you help me place this call?”

 

* * *

 

 

The summer leading up to her junior year of college was… odd.

 

Her cousin had been involved in the most complex fight she had ever seen him in, one that spanned for over ten years.

 

Not only did she need to make money, Kara also wanted to help people. Like her cousin.

 

It was “too dangerous” for her to reveal her powers, though, so Kara settled on being a telephone operator.

 

It was monotonous. It was repetitive. It was _exactly_ what she wanted.

 

Being an alien didn't really leave one wishing for adventure.

 

Not when there was enough already.

 

Her days were long, but she got to help. People from all over the area called her, and she directed them. It was gratifying, knowing that people out there had connected with someone they lost touch with because of her.

 

It was the third call of her day, and she answered it with a happy voice in the hopes of lightening the callers mood.

 

She dialed ten.

 

“Operator 26, how may I help you?”

 

_“Operator, can you help me place this call?”_

 

“Of course, miss. May I have any information to find the number?”

 

“Oh, uh,” Lena faltered. She wasn't quite sure what to say. Who was she even supposed to be calling? “I have the number here, on a matchbox, but it's a bit faded. It's my b- my friend. She's living out… east.” Lena mentally slapped herself on the head for not being able to think of anything better. Thankfully, the operator was kind.

 

Kara wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to do with the information she was given. Matchbox? East? She could hear the pain and the confusion in this woman's voice, however, and decided she’d do everything in her power to help.

 

“Okay, anything else?”

 

“She's- She lives with my old ex-friend. Ray. In Metropolis. His name is Raymond Pierce.” She cringed at her own lie, knowing it was stupid. The woman on the phone helped somehow, just by being there. She sounded sweet, like she wanted to help. Lena went with it.

 

“I’ll look him up!” Kara exclaimed happily. “Would you mind being put on hold while I look?” Kara found it easier to work when she didn't have someone listening in, but it was always nicer to ask.

 

“No!” Lena _actually_ slapped her head this time, and continued explaining her… _predicament._ “I just would feel more comfortable knowing you're still there.”

 

“It's no problem, miss,” Kara explained as she typed in the information. She was so lost in thought that she almost missed the whisper coming from her earpiece.

 

“She said she loved Ray.”

 

Kara pauses typing and rethinks the sentence she just heard.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Ray, my friend said she loved him. But I knew she hated him sometimes.” Lena knew it was a stark comparison to her mother and herself. But she could help but explain, it was like the operator really cared. Deep down, Lena knew she probably was bugging the operator, but sometimes you just need to talk. “But what does it matter? That's the way they say it goes.” Lena quieted and listened as the operator typed away. Either the woman wasn't listening, or she didn't know what to say. Lena continued anyway.

 

“Let's forget about all that. If you can find the number, let me know.”

 

“Of course, miss,” Kara replied. This poor girl sounded so hurt and confused, Kara couldn't help but feel bad.

 

“I just-” Lena began. She swiped at her eyes to brush away the few tears that were threatening to fall. “I just want to call to tell him I’m fine.”

 

If the woman calling noticed her accidental change of pronouns for her friend, she didn't let on. Kara suspected at this point that this situation had nothing to do with _Raymond,_ seeing as he wasn't even a real person. There was probably a deeper issue here.

 

“I have the number, miss. Are you ready with a pen?”

 

“Yes, go ahead.” Lena picked up a pen and ripped a piece of paper to write down the number. Sure, she wasn't going to call, but she had to keep up the act.

 

“714-633-0124,” Kara read slowly. “Do you need me to repeat it?”

 

“No, thank you,” Lena replied as she looked at the scratched numbers on her paper. “Thank you very much.”

 

“Anytime. Have a nice day!”

 

Lena waited for the operator to hang up, but the click never came. She sighed into the phone and hung up.

 

The paper with some random person's number sat in front of her tauntingly. She could almost feel Lex leaning over her shoulder and looking at the number. She could _hear_ him in her ear as he said ‘ _That's low, Lee.’_

 

The pet name sent a fire through her as she thought about her brother. Her sweet innocent brother from when she was young, from when _they_ were young. Oh how the times have changed.

 

Now, instead of sitting on her bed as they shared candy, Lex sat in a stone room by himself. His presence was everywhere though, and it felt like she would never escape him. The elephant he won her at the fair they snuck off to when she was fourteen sat on top of her dresser. The various projects they worked on together littered her room. The pen set he bought her with _Luthor_ written in elegant cursive on the side sat in a jar on her desk. She looked down in her hand and saw that she used one of them to take the note.

 

Looking at the phone number made her feel physically sick. Her “mother” was god knows where, her father was dead, and her brother was in prison. What kind of family was that? The only person she had found comfort in was a _stupid_ telephone operator.

 

_No, she wasn't stupid. She helped._

 

What was _stupid_ was her life. Her _stupid_ mansion, with her _stupid_ mother that didn't even love her, with her _stupid_ belongings that gave her nothing other than a sense of ownership, with her _stupid_ chess board and elephant and telephone and couch and _stupid, stupid, stupid._

 

Her chest heaved as the tears fell down her face. She started to tear the note with the phone number on it apart to calm herself and didn't stop until the paper was in shreds.

 

Lena found that not having the number left somewhat of a hole inside of her.

 

_“Operator 26, how may I help you?”_

 

“Operator, can you help me place this call?”

 

Kara sat up straight as the woman repeated her original question from her previous call.

 

“You again?” Kara groaned internally at the idiocy of her sentence.

 

“ _You_ again?” Lena shot the question back in surprise. Kara could tell that the woman had been crying; her voice sounded somewhat foggy and muted, like her nose was stuffed.

 

“What do you need miss?”

 

“Well, funny story you see. I can't read the number you just gave me,” Lena explained.

 

“Oh,” Kara said dumbly. “Oh! Well, do you need me to repeat it?” Even if the number was fake and the woman didn't need it, she'd give it to her anyway. This was obviously a cry for help, but Kara wasn't quick on her feet. She didn't know what to say.

 

“Yes, please,” Lena sighed.

 

“One moment, I just have to pull it up in my history.” The woman on the line didn't say anything, so Kara opened her history tab. Right as she was about to repeat the number, the woman spoke up.

 

“There's just something in my eye,” Lena exclaimed. She didn't know why she did it, but it felt like it was necessary to give the poor operator some context. No matter how fake it may be. “It happens all the time. Every time in fact.”

 

Kara hesitated, not sure how to respond. In order to help her caller a little bit more than by just giving her the fake number, Kara decided to push for information. “Every time?” She made sure to ask the question gently, so as to not startle the woman. If it weren't for superhearing, she probably wouldn't have heard the meek response.

 

“Every time I think about the love I thought would save me,” Lena whispers. She thought it would, Lillian's love. It seemed from a young age that approval from the cold Luthor was all that mattered in the world: that once Lillian loved her, she would be happy.

 

Kara didn't really know what to say to that, so she took a deep breath to keep her emotions down. “Are you ready for the number, miss?”

 

“Yeah- Yes.”

 

“714-633-0124. Do you need me to repeat it?”

 

“No.” Lena replied. She hadn't even written it down. “Thank you,” she says in lieu of a goodbye before hanging up the phone. Screw her emotions getting the better of her. She shouldn't have revealed so much to a complete stranger, no matter how nice she sounded.

 

She dialed ten.

 

_“Operator 26, how may I help you?”_

 

“Operator, let's just forget about this call,” Lena sighed.

 

“Miss?” Whoever kept calling her was really in a bad place. It gave Kara an uneasy feeling.

 

“There's no one there I really wanted to talk to anyway,” Lena declares. Her voice shook slightly and she cursed her tears as they fell.

 

“I understand, miss.” She didn't understand.

 

“You do?”

 

“Well, not really. But-”

 

“Well, thank you for your time.” Lena felt slightly bad about cutting the woman off, but she needed to go; she could feel the beginnings of a new onslaught of tears. “You've been so much more than kind,” she confessed. Lena had allowed more emotion to show in her voice to truly convey her gratitude. It wasn't often a random woman would give you a random phone number to a random person just to humor you.

 

“Anything I can do to help, I will.”

 

Lena froze briefly at the promise of future help, but she shook it off. Chuckling softly, she decided to make a joke in the hopes to lighten the mood.

 

“You can keep the dime,” she said with a gentle voice. Neither woman moved to say goodbye or hang up, and Kara thought that it was now or never to help this woman.

 

“But please, forget all that. I’m fine,” Lens continued.

 

“My name is Kara,” the operator revealed.

 

“I’m Lena.”

 

“Now, Lena,” Kara said slowly as she played with the cord of her phone. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping or incorrect, but I don't think this was about calling ‘ _Raymond Pierce.’”_

 

Lena took a moment to think about what the operator- what _Kara_ \- had said to her. She wanted to deny the accusation and say that no, this _was_ about Raymond. Her mouth had a different idea.

 

“You're right.”

 

Both women froze at the blatant admission. Lena felt her anger boil. _A_ _Luthor never shows weakness._

 

“Well,” Kara began. “I know we don't know each other very well, but I know a thing or two about loss.”

 

“How do you know this has _anything_ to do with loss?” The venom in her voice shocked her, but Kara ignored it.

 

“Like I said, I know a thing or two about it. I’m gonna give you a number and you're gonna text it to say that it's you. Okay?”

 

“All I wanted to do was say that I’m fine, and to convince _someone_ that,” Lena explains, trying to stop this poor woman from wasting her time.

 

“But that’s not the way it feels, is it? You don’t feel fine?”

 

Normally, Lena would've hung up by now. Normally, she wouldn’t have even called anyone.

 

Normally, her brother wouldn't be in jail.

 

“What’s the number,”she said, grabbing a new piece of paper and a _different_ pen.

 

“214-867-5477. Got it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good. Promise me you'll text it?”

 

“Sure, I guess, but whose number is it?” Lena let her pen glide across the paper in squiggles and Kara let out a content sigh.

 

“Mine,” she declared before hanging up.

 

Kara passed any calls she got onto the next operator while she waited for a text. She stared at her dark phone for at least five minutes before it lit up with a message.

 

_Unknown: Hello, Kara._

 

The blonde ignored the glare that was being sent her way from her boss as she added Lena’s number to her contacts and smiled.

 

_Kara: Hi! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to… But I noticed you were crying during your calls. What's happened?_

 

_Lena: Well… It's about my brother._

 

Lena didn't give anything more than that. She needed to get her thoughts together before she told Kara the ugly truth about who she was. It wouldn't be too nice to make a _friend,_ her first in years, and then lose her to a name. Her words needed to be chosen wisely. Before she could come up with something, Kara responded.

 

_Kara: Tell me more? Take your time, though :) wouldn't want you getting too upset, would we?_

 

For the first time since her adoption, Lena thought that maybe weakness wasn't so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> in case you didn't catch or understand it, on some public telephones, you just put a dime in the machine and it dials you to a telephone operator. so when Lena/the guy in the song says "you can keep the dime," its like saying, "hey, i didn't need your help, but you just went along with it, so thank you." (and thats why i chose ten as the dial number!)
> 
> thank you for reading!!!!!! :))


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